K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
