Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
