How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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