We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
be right there i have to get my cape
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
