I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
