windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
