i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
