I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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