But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
