A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
