everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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