fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
