just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
