How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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