i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
