Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
