nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
