I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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