I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
