matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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