There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
