areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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