I wannas sexs uuuuu
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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