hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
