turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
