Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
