I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
