Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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