Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
