and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
