What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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