I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
