your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
