Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
