WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
