he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
