she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
