I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
