Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
