butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
