he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
