Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
