'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
