I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
