I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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