bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
