just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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