My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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