I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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