i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
