i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
