It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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