Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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