This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
