The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
