I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
